Family of trans woman who Dave Chapelle in Netflix special said was hounded to death for defending his jokes in 2019 slam woke mob trying to cancel him: Sister says you can't 'demand everyone see it your way'
The family of a trans woman who Dave Chappelle said was hounded to death for defending his jokes in 2019 in a Netflix show have slammed the woke mob trying to cancel him, saying they do not know how much he did for her.
Daphne Dorman was 44 when she killed herself in 2019 after defending her friend Chappelle for jokes made during a Netflix special that year.
'When she did that, the trans community dragged that b**** through Twitter,' Chappelle told the audience in The Closer, his latest standup act on Netflix that has had many critics calling for him to be cancelled.
'For days, they was going in on her and she was on her own because she's funny,' he continued, hinting the harassment might have contributed to her suicide.
'It's a true story; my heart was broken. I don't know what was going on, but I'll bet dragging her didn't help.'
Dorman, who began transitioning to a woman in 2014, was an up-and-coming comedian who opened a show for Chappelle.
Her humor veiled a dark past mired by a troubled childhood that left her with severe PTSD, her family said.
But despite her inner demons, she tapped into her comedy to make the world around her laugh, her sister said.
Her sister brushed off critics who have slammed Chappelle's transgender jokes, saying the comedian 'loved' Dorman and said people cannot demand that 'everyone see it your way'.
Meanwhile, Chappelle paid tribute to his 'beautiful' friend Dorman in his Netflix special, describing her as being part of his 'tribe', a word which is commonly used to mean being like someone's family.
The comedian praised Dorman for her sense of humour and her bravery, even revealing that he set up a trust fund for her daughter following Dorman's death, which he plans to personally hand over to her when she turns 21.
Daphne Dorman, 44, was a transgender amateur comic opened for comedian Dave Chappelle
Speaking about her sister's comedy streak, Becky Kugler told DailyMail.com: 'Just from the word 'go' she was always very funny.
'She could make the sentence, 'The dog took a crap' hysterically funny. It's just the way she can use her descriptive words and how she worded things.'
Kugler said Dorman likely would have found some of Chappelle's material funny, and that she wouldn't have taken offense at his comedic fodder.
'In her mind, he wasn't giving (the LBGTQ community) lack of support, nor was he giving them support. He was making jokes because that's what comedians do,' Kugler told DailyMail.com. 'In her opinion, you make jokes about everything.'
Dorman drew criticism after defending Chappelle's show Sticks and Stones, which took jabs at gay and trans people, with tweet on August 28, 2019.
'Punching down requires you to consider yourself superior to another group,' she tweeted. '@DaveChappelle doesn't consider himself better than me in any way. He isn't punching up or punching down.
'He's punching lines. That's his job and he's a master of his craft.'
Dorman (right) told her sister Chappelle was 'f***ing awesome' and said she wished people were less sensitive. Dorman was mentioned in Chappelle's 2019 special Sticks and Stones
Dorman was born William Richard Brown Jr. on April 30 1975, and had a 'very traumatic childhood' growing up in Pennsylvania, said Kugler.
She declined to elaborate on those troubled years, except to say they left the siblings with extreme post-traumatic stress disorder that Dorman struggled to cope with.
She seemed 'very sad' during their last text exchange, Kugler said.
Dorman posted a note on Facebook October 11, 2019, before taking her own life that day.
'I'm sorry,' she wrote. 'I've thought about this a lot before this morning. How do you say 'goodbye' and 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' to all the beautiful souls you know? For the last time.
'There's no good way. That's what I got out of all that thought.
'To those of you who are mad at me: please forgive me. To those of you who wonder if you failed me: you didn't. To those of you feel like I failed you: I did and I'm sorry and I hope you'll remember me in better times and better light.'
Chappelle's transgender jokes on The Closer have drawn the ire of the LGBTQ community, but Dorman's sisters brushed off the critics, saying the comedian 'loved' Dorman.
Dorman's other sibling, Brandy, told The Daily Beast: 'Dave loved my sister and is an LGBTQ ally.'
The aspiring comedian committed suicide in San Francisco on October 11, 2019
Dorman faced backlash from the trans community after publicly aligning with Chappelle
Chappelle told his audience in The Closer that Dorman was hounded for days over the tweet
'She was bringing up our childhood … she didn't feel it was fair that our father didn't lose out on raising children, even though he was the one causing all of our PTSD now,' she told DailyMail.com. 'She was very sad and that's why I truly believe that's what she meant by 'she failed'.
'She feels she failed at getting past our trauma.'
Meanwhile, Chappelle also paid tribute to Dorman during his Netflix special The Closer, where he revealed that he has set up a trust fund for his friend's daughter.
He ended the show with a 10-minute minute segment paying tribute to Dorman, who he described as 'one of the coolest people I've ever met' and a 'beautiful friend'.
The comedian said he met Dorman after seeing her 'laughing loud and hard' at every single one of his jokes at all 18 of his San Francisco shows.
He said he got the chance to meet her one night after his show, and she said it was her dream to be a comedian, describing him as her 'hero'.
He said: 'It was very moving. I could not dislike somebody who felt that way about me. We became fast friends.'
Chappelle explained that when he made the Sticks And Stones special, he called her on the phone and asked her to be his opening act when he performed in San Francisco, much to her delight and surprise.
Although she had only done eight stand-up comedy gigs in her life, he described her as being 'an amateur in stature but very professional in practice'.
He continued: 'She showed up early, which is something I appreciate cos I like people to be on time. She was dressed to the motherf***in' nines.'
He added: 'Went up on the stage with all the swag of a professional comedian, grabbed that mic and walked down the middle and looked at the crowd like a gangster. Man you should have seen her work.'
Dorman defended Chappelle by saying 'he doesn't consider himself better than me in any way'
Chappelle then revealed she 'bombed' her 45-minute set, but added that he was left impressed when she not only stayed for the rest of the show, but sat in the audience.
He explained: 'Any other comedian that I have seen, if they had bombed as bad as she did, would have snuck out the back of the theatre and went home and cried. But she didn't do that. Not only did she not leave but she found a seat right up front.
'You know, when a new comedian watches an experienced comedian, in comedy we call this 'taking class'. And this b**** took my whole class, she sat up there and was laughing as hard as she always laughs as if nothing bad had ever happened to her.'
Chappelle said Dorman then started talking to him while he was on-stage, with one person in the audience growing irritated, even though Chappelle said he didn't mind.
He said: 'A guy in the back of the room stood up and Daphne's hair was dyed blonde at the time and the guy screamed out, the energy felt wild as f***. He said 'hey Daphne!' and everyone clamped, they got tense.
'We didn't know if it was a heckler or an active shooter and he said 'does the carpet match the drapes?' It was f***ed up, the whole crowd groaned because it was so mean.
'Everybody groaned, except for Daphne. She kinda laughed, which was weird, she didn't even look all the way back. She said 'Sir, I don't have carpets, I have hardwood floors'. Just like that.
'Boy when she said that s*** it blew the roof off the place. Cut through all the tension with that one joke, she made up for 45 minutes of a stinker of a show. And after that, she could do no wrong.'
Chappelle said from then on, the show completely changed and became a conversation between 'a black man and a trans woman', saying he asked questions that he had always been afraid to ask while she came up with funny responses.
Daphne posted a note on Facebook before taking her own life, saying: 'I love you all. I'm sorry'
He added: 'The crowd was falling out of their chairs and at the end of the show I go, 'well Daphne', I said, 'well that was fun', I go 'I love you to death but I have no f***ing idea what you're talking about'.
'The whole crowd laughed except for Daphne. Man, she looks at me like I'm not her friend anymore. Like I'm something bigger than me, like I'm the whole world in a guy.
'Then she said 'I don't need you to understand me'. I said 'what?, she said 'I just need you to believe that I'm having a human experience'.
'And then when she said it, the whole crowd kind of gasped. And I gave her the fight club look. I said 'I believe you b****. Because she didn't say anything about pronouns.
'She didn't say anything about being in trouble, she said 'just believe I'm a person and I'm going through it'. I know, I believe you because it takes one to know one.'
Chappelle said that after the extraordinary show, Dorman got a bigger round of applause than he did and even got a standing ovation from the amused crowd.
He said: 'I looked at her and tears came out of her eyes, she couldn't believe it was happening.'
After the show, he said he told her that she could be his opening act every show he did in San Francisco while he also volunteered to be her mentor and give her pointers on stand-up comedy.
But he then went on to speak about the Twitter abuse Dorman for defending his jokes, saying he was honored that she bravely went 'against her tribe' to show solidarity with him.
Dorman, pictured with her sister Becky, was born William Richard Brown Jr. on April 30, 1975
Dorman (pictured at left with her mom and little sister Becky) had a 'very traumatic childhood'
The oldest of 4 siblings, the 'hysterically funny' woman could always be counted on for a laugh
He explained: 'Beautiful friend. It took a lot of heart to defend me like that. And when she did that the trans community dragged that b**** all over Twitter.
'For days they were going in on her, and she was holding her own cos she's funny. But six days after that wonderful night I described to you, my friend Daphne killed herself.'
Chappelle said he was 'angry' at the people on Twitter who had directed abuse her way, and decided to get in touch with Dorman's family after he read her obituary, which mentioned Dorman's daughter.
The comedian revealed that he has started a trust fund for Dorman's daughter, saying he knew she was the only thing that his friend had 'ever really cared about'.
He added: 'I don't know what the trans community did for her but I don't care because I feel like she wasn't their tribe, she was mine. She was a comedian in her soul.
'The daughter is very young but I hope to be alive when she turns 21 'cause I'm going to give her this money myself.'
After paying tribute to his friend, he added: 'Empathy is not gay. Empathy is not black. Empathy is bisexual. It must go both ways.'
According to Dorman's sister, she had spent much of her adult years trying to find peace in her life; she tried therapy and 'explored every religion out there'.
Some people have called for The Closer to be cancelled due to its insensitive content
But Dormer (pictured at left) would not have been offended by his jokes, her sister said
She was known among friends and family for her thought-provoking conversations, affinity for memorizing random facts, 'hysterically funny' personality.
Dorman spoke to her sister on a weekly basis but had not seen her physically since the gender transition.
Kugler said she learned of her sibling's plan to make a drastic life change about 12 years ago, when Dorman called her from her then-Texas home.
'I explained to her that I just don't care what she did, as long as she was happy and safe,' Kugler said. 'That was my biggest concern and at the time she was living in Texas, and I just told her the Texas it was not the state to be in if she was going to do this, because they're not safe.'
Dorman then moved to California, where Kugler saw her for the last time during a 2013 family vacation. The siblings continued to communicate on at least a weekly basis through video calls.
Kugler said she wasn't offended by Chappelle's special, but she understands that other people might have been.
'My opinion, nor Daphne's estimated opinion, does not mean people's feelings weren't crushed over Dave Chappelle's show,' she said. 'People's reactions and emotions cannot be belittled or pushed to the side.
Chappelle in The Closer commented on the anatomy of transwomen, joking that they lacked real female reproductive organs and that they did not have blood but 'beet juice.'
'I still support everyone and respect everyone's right to be treated like a human being. We don't all have to agree on what's funny, what's crossing the line, or where any of those lines are. If you don't like something, you're entitled to that opinion, but to demand everyone see it your way won't work.'
Dorman's best friend, Mia Satya, said she bonded with Dorman more than five years ago over mutual interests such as cartography, history, sociology, psychology and comedy.
They also had their share of difference, she said.
'I'm a vegan Buddhist who can't code or remember acting lines to save my life, and she was a carnivorous atheist software engineer and actress,' Satya wrote in a Facebook tribute on the second anniversary of Dorman's death.
'When we would eat together and I would order a meal with no meat, dairy or eggs and she would order a meal with all three she would always joke 'how are we friends?!'
Satya cheered Dorman on as her comedy gig picked up, and had a feeling she was going to make a career of telling jokes.
Dorman (pictured at right with a friend) met Chappelle at a comedy club in San Francisco
'I saw her start to get booked for more and more comedy performances and I felt like 'Damn! She's about to be a celebrity and I'm going to get to say - I knew her before she was famous,' she said.
'And then she killed herself.'
Satya implored her friends not to watch Chappelle's latest special, which has been criticised for its jokes about the LGBTQ+ community.
Dorman met Chapman and a comedy club where he was performing, and later opened a show for him, saying she used jokes to heal from her 'pain'.
'She used humor to heal from pain, she told self-deprecating jokes, and used humor to educate people about trans issues,' she wrote. 'She never used humor to be hateful.'
Dormer (in red) is pictured with siblings after graduating high school around 1993
Dorman died less than two months after Sticks and Stones was released, and Satya said she did not think it was the 'main cause' in her death, as she had battled with PTSD and suicidal thoughts for 'years'.
'I don't think it was the main cause, but who know,' she said. 'Daphne had PTSD from a life of trauma and she had battled suicidal thoughts for years.
'I think the final blow was a combination of her losing custody of her daughter, losing her job, and dealing with a lot of transphobic harassment on the streets of San Francisco. I lived with her, and yet I didn't know how bad she was feeling.'
Suicidal thoughts and attempts are higher among transgender adults than in the general population, according to a UCLA study.
The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Law and Public Policy study found 51percent of transgender adults attempted suicide in 2015.
No comments