Hospital refuses to tell dad gender of unborn baby 'because he isn't the mum'

A dad-to-be was allegedly not told the gender of his unborn baby because he wasn't the mother.
Ben Hopper, 26, had planned a gender reveal for his wife, Kelly, as a surprise after their wedding ceremony this Saturday.
In preparation for the surprise, Ben, from Hull, called the city's women's and children's hospital to ask if only he could be told the sex when the couple attended their 20-week scan.
He was reportedly told that, as long as Kelly agreed to it, hospital staff would be able to disclose the gender solely to Ben, reports Hull Live.
But Ben, who had wanted to plan an emotional gender reveal by popping balloon after their wedding ceremony, had his hopes dashed when hospital staff said they would not be able to tell just the dad what gender their baby was.
After an agonising year of experiencing three heartbreaking miscarriages, the couple said their upcoming nuptials were "ruined".
Ben, who has a seven-year-old daughter called Lacie-May with Miss Netherton, said: “We lost twins six months ago and then six months before that we lost another one and we were told we might not be able to conceive.
“It broke my heart and I thought it would be really nice to do a gender reveal. I rung up personally beforehand and said this is something that means a lot to me.
“They said it would be fine as long as Kelly rang up and gave her consent.
"They said there was no reason they couldn’t allow it.”
After giving her consent beforehand, the happy couple arrived at the hospital on Wednesday ready for their scan at 3.30pm.
However, when Mr Hooper asked about whether the arrangement could still go ahead he was dealt a shattering blow.
“The woman called us in and she immediately said she had a meeting at 4pm. She asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby and I went to ask her if only I could find out but she immediately said no," he said.
“They were insistent they wouldn’t tell me the gender and when I asked they said the reason they wouldn’t give me the gender was because I was the father of the child.
“Even with my fiancée’s consent they said no straight away because I was the father of the child and not the mother of the child.”
“In the end she just told my partner and I went out of the room. I’m her dad. I’m on my other child’s birth certificate and I don’t see why they wouldn’t tell me.”
After being left disappointed by what happened, Ben submitted a complaint to an external firm which deals with claims of medical negligence.
He says the whole experience has “ruined” his upcoming nuptials and he admitted he broke down in tears for the first time in front of Lacie-May.
Ben, who still does not know the gender of his baby, said: “I was that upset at the time I just walked out of the building.
"Doing this surprise meant everything because we were going to get married and then she would have popped the balloon.
“Lacie-May has been jumping with joy at the thought it but now we can’t do it.
“My stress levels are unbelievable and I’ve been struggling like hell. I had a whole wedding speech prepared which has had to be changed and I was crying my eyes out to my little girl.
"I've never been like that before and the whole thing is just so upsetting.”
Although the 20-week scan can give a very good indication of the identity of a baby it is always stressed that it is not 100 per cent accurate.
Mike Wright, chief nurse at Hull and East Yorkshire Hospitals NHS Trust, has reiterated that the 20-week scan is a clinical test and its purpose is to assess the baby’s health and to ensure it is developing correctly.
He said it is not to identify gender and the results of such a test can only be revealed to the patient.
Mr Wright said: “We are sorry Mr Hopper is disappointed that we cannot pass on the results of a clinical test to him, even with his fiancée’s consent.
“We understand entirely the couple’s reasons for wanting us to do so but our sonographers must follow strict rules regarding information governance.
“Results of any clinical test must only be divulged to the patient, even if they ask us to tell someone else, unless legal documentation such as power of attorney is in place.
“If that legal consent is not in place, we are not permitted to pass on the results of any clinical test to anyone other than the patient, regardless of personal circumstances such as future wedding plans.
“We simply cannot do it without correct legal documentation authorising disclosure.
“The 20-week scan is a clinical test and its purpose is to assess the baby’s health and that it is developing correctly, not to identify gender.
“While we endeavour to determine the sex of the baby if the mother has requested this, we always stress that gender identification is not 100 per cent accurate.
“It is not part of the clinical test but we offer this as an additional service as we appreciate that it is important for many prospective parents.
“If Mr Hopper and Miss Netherton feel dissatisfied, we would urge them to contact our Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS), which will be happy to look into any concerns they may have.”
Hospital refuses to tell dad gender of unborn baby 'because he isn't the mum' Hospital refuses to tell dad gender of unborn baby 'because he isn't the mum' Reviewed by Your Destination on November 24, 2018 Rating: 5

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