Democrats Pass Resolution To Condemn All Presidents Named Trump [Satire]

Nancy Pelosi delivered a speech the other day in front of either a flaming pile of week-old fertilizer or the House of Representatives, it’s become increasingly hard to tell the difference. Pelosi was offering a resolution to condemn Donald Trump for saying things that could be twisted to sound racist, or in other words, for being a Republican.

In the tradition of the recent Democrat resolution to condemn anti-Semitism which ended up condemning everything and therefore nothing, Pelosi offered to condemn all presidents whose words could be misrepresented as racist or who were Republican or who had orange hair or who were named Trump.

In condemning the words that could be twisted to sound racist, Squad member Ayanna Pressley from the state of lunacy said, “We cannot have racism in this country but instead should only have black people who say black things, women people who say women things and gay people who say gay things and all things should be the things I want them to say. Then we will be free.” 

Representative Ilhan Omar also spoke up for the resolution saying, “How dare Trump say I should go back to Somalia when I love this country so much. And when an anti-American racist like Donald Trump says that I support Al-Qaeda, I won’t even dignify that with a response, certainly not an honest response.”

Alexandria Occasional Cortex added her voice to the anti-Trump resolution saying, “I just want to reach out to every child all around the world and say, whether you’re black or white or Mexican or a drug smuggler from Costa Rica or a terrorist moving weapons through Argentina, this country belongs to you or will when I get through with it.”

Four Republicans voted for the resolution, congressmen Dopey, Sleepy, Wimpy and Scuzz. The other Republicans feared that if Donald Trump were silenced there would be no one left to say Republican things because they sure as hell weren’t going to do it.